Connecting internally as a basis for better connection with others
In a recent newsletter I wrote about my personal experience of connecting with others while in social isolation: online via zoom. Thank you all who connected with me having read the newsletter. It was so heartening to hear from you. A few weeks on and here in Australia we are now starting to loosen the reins on sheltering at home and are re-introducing social distancing; connecting face-face in small-ish numbers with those near and dear.
I find myself frequently reflecting on what feels safe, what feels possible and conversely what enhances my internal sense of vulnerability around these easing restrictions. My internal compass keeps moving, changing; I keep changing, adapting, considering options and possibilities and am starting to act on them, all the while still within my sense of comfort and safety. So here I am talking about connecting with my internal world. I am connecting with the four interconnected aspects of our waking state: our sensing, moving, thoughts and feelings. To sense, feel, think and act all at once is an integrated experience of myself.
I draw parallels on this process of connecting with my internal world with the processes that we facilitate through Feldenkrais practices: exploring options within the parameters of safety and security, challenging ourselves, ONLY enough that we can keep breathing, remain present in the moment, keep spreading our attention. When outside of our safety-net, learning is less available, because we are automatically, unconsciously defaulting to ensuring safety and survival (think survival of the fittest in the wild) first and foremost, above all else.
I am constantly learning to fine tune paying attention within my body, mind and heart, noticing subtle details of what and HOW I am doing, while simultaneously attending to or noticing the world around me and how I am interacting with the environment and others. This is really powerful learning and I liken it to onion layers of learning: layer upon layer of learning.
In the ideal of connecting within, I am befriending myself, I am embodying loving kindness/ self respect, I am moving with and through awareness. I am learning to listen deeply to ME, honour ME; over and over. Sometimes this comes easily, sometimes it is anything but easy. In fact I can loose my sense of ME, sometimes while feeling more concerned about others. So when I notice this happening I have some resources to bring me back to me. Ahhhh lifelong learning, growth, transformation, empowering!!
So how do I know I still feel safe?
I am still breathing
I can feel my connection with the ground
I can spread my attention and still notice how I feel, sense, think and act in the moment, in my decision, whatever the decision
I feel OK with a small amount of challenge and can still breathe and explore the challenge
I can be open to possibilities other than my usual
When do I come home to myself?
in the pauses- the conscious breath
when I conscious direct my attention to the sense of my body connecting with Mother Earth, be it feet on the ground, pelvis on a chair
my sense of my internal state when I slow down in the moment
even in tiny movements/ adjustments to find the ease and comfort in the moment, feeling the sense of connections internally through my own skeletal support
I am wanting to learn through connections, proactively seeking to learn through connections.
Why do I do this: keep connecting within?
Ultimately to be more comfortable: living with greater comfort, to enjoy the quality of my life in greater ease and comfort. In other words I am learning how to care for myself better. I am learning to BE in the process- a profoundly different way of being with myself- through ease, calm, quiet, comfort, safety and empowerment. And in doing so, coaching others in how to better care for themselves in ways they have never experienced themselves before- outside of their habitual/unconscious responses.
Mmmm - feeling the internal hum when I am present in the moment, present internally as a basis for better connections externally, with the environment and others; aligned, empowered and vital.
Gxx
